Wednesday, January 06, 2010

9000 is the magic number

The human race as a whole had only counted to 8999 prior to the existence of Dragon Ball Z. Who not only took us to 9000, but also way over that number. Anonymous brought that revelation to hundreds of thousands of housewives through disturbing and false pretense. Imagine if you will over 9000 penises all organized and raping children. Now imagine them just by themselves. 9000 disembodied penises just sitting there. Are they hard? Soft? Somewhere in between? Are they stacked up on their sides like firewood, or standing end to end like a giant store display of Coke bottles? What would make them decide to rape children? Would a penis fuck anything if it had a choice in the matter? Now imagine someone running electrical current through the giant store display of stacked penises and watching them all convulse and bulge. All simultaneously trying to cum the cum that's not there since there are no balls to be found. Imagine them all slowly deflating and wilting into a messy heap of flaccid cocks. A few beats later something arousing walks by and they all stand back up at attention. Like a slow-acting collapsing string toy. The kind where a figure is held together by string held taught by a button on a spring.

Penises don't rape children. Oprah should know better.